Brady’s non-denominational parties are such high-demand affairs that he usually has to rent an adjacent space for the spill-over. This time he acquired the unit above his for a chutes-and-ladders scenario where guests climbed a rough rope ladder to get to the “tequila deck” and slid down a poolside banana slide (both liberated from a foreclosed condo development in Lakeland) to get back on solid ground.

The party was going great. A buxom Tiana, already covered in hickeys, was offering body shots to anybody who could stomach Goldschlager. I made out with a Tinker Bell who insisted she lived a past life as a pashmina, and kept draping herself around my shoulders. Somebody from Universal (I think she was a Woody) set the rope ladder on fire, then quickly Macguyvered it back together with her Victoria Secrets bra.

What prompted the end was a complaint from an anonymous neighbor – not about the noise, but about the insensitivity of throwing a party themed around “orphans.” It seemed the complainant sat on the board of some influential group within the adoption community.

Brady graciously listened to the cops. Then chased everybody out with a fire extinguisher…